Case Law Hall of Fame
Lowering the Bar Presents:
The Case Law Hall of Fame
- Bradshaw v. Unity Marine Corp. (S.D. Tex. 2001)
"Both attorneys have obviously entered into a secret pact . . . to draft their pleadings entirely in crayon on the back sides of gravy-stained paper place mats, in the hope that the Court would be so charmed by their child-like efforts that their utter dearth of legal authorities in their briefing would go unnoticed."
Unprofessional? Maybe. Comical? Yep.
- Fisher v. Lowe (Mich. Ct. App. 1983)
"We thought that we would never see
A suit to compensate a tree"And so on. Bonus points for whoever at Westlaw did the summary and headnotes in verse.
- Lodi v. Lodi (Cal. Ct. App. 1985).
"This case started when plaintiff Oreste Lodi sued himself in the Shasta County Superior Court."
- Moore v. Moore (Mo. Ct. App. 1960)
In which a man's right to fish without female interference is recognized, but minor infringements on it are declared not to be grounds for divorce. The term "hillbilly" is found not to be an insult, at least when used in Southern Missouri.
- Noble v. Bradford Marine Inc. (S.D. Fla. 1992).
This case, decided not long after "Wayne's World" was released, was remanded after an extreme close-up review of very excellent authorities revealed that the removal was most bogus and way improvident. Defendants ordered to "party on in state court."
- Pardue v. Turnage (La. App. 1980)
"An exhaustive reading of the entire record convinces this court that Kenneth Turnage did give his stuffed bear to the Lessards. For the trial court to find otherwise was manifest error."
- People v. Foranyic (Cal. Ct. App. 1998)
Question: may police reasonably detain a man they see riding a bike at 3 a.m. carrying an axe?
Answer: yes.
- United States ex rel. Mayo v. Satan and His Staff (W.D. Pa. 1971).
Civil rights case against Satan (and his staff). Case dismissed for lack of jurisdiction, and because of doubts over whether it could properly be maintained as a class action.
- Washington v. Alaimo (S.D. Ga. 1996).
Plaintiff ordered to show cause why he should not be sanctioned for "filing a motion for improper purposes." The allegedly "improper purposes" are hinted at by the title of the pleading, "Motion to Kiss My Ass." Sanctions imposed.
